Jokes about dating

Posted by / 25-Jul-2017 18:23

Q: What does your girlfriend and a condom got in common? The first one I called 7 Up, because he had 7 inches and he knew how to keep it up. And the rich man says "I'm getting her a diamond ring and a Marcedes." "Why both? And the rich man says "That way if she doesn't like the ring she can still enjoy the Marcedes when she returns the ring." And then the rich man asks the poor man "What are you getting your girlfriend? One girl says "The last 3 boyfriends I've had, I've named after soda pops.Dating is amusing enough that thousands of funny jokes have been written about the subject.Most funny jokes about dating are soaked with truth — the gold-digger girl, the clueless dude, the relationship that’s doomed from the start yet the pair continue on for no reason.It offers a good service, in that it pairs like-minded heterosexual Trump supporters and keeps them out of the general population’s dating pool. It didn’t take long for people to discover that the website did not discriminate against people who are ‘happily married’.

A: None, it should be opened when your girlfriend brings it to you. A: Both end with a loud, annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean up.Other jokes to make the top 20 include a string of brilliant one-liners - and digs at wives, husbands, blondes and foreigners.A quarter-century after his death comedy hero Tommy Cooper makes a strong showing in the list, which also includes gags by Peter Kay, Lee Evans and Canadian comic Stuart Francis.1. The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!Researchers scoured the web and examined more than 1,000 jokes before whittling them down to a final 50 on which 36,000 people voted.In second place was a legendary one-liner about a zoo with just one dog being a 'shitzu'.

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